It’s 12:38 on the 7th July and I woke up to news that two innocent Black men were murdered by police in America again. My selfish thoughts in the moment was that I didn’t want to hear such bad news as I woke up. But then I got on the internet and it was everywhere so I knew that I had to watch the videos. My soul cried because in that moment I was no longer an only a child but a child with thousands of brothers across the world. I decided to listen to Beyoncé’s Lemonade album and I listened to her song Freedom and All Night. This is when I realised that you can always turn a negative situation into a positive so I’ve decided to write about what it means to Black.
What does it mean to be Black ?
As a kid I wanted a blonde hair blue-eyed Barbie to play with because that’s the only ones that were available in Woolworth’s. As a kid I watched advertisements where other kids would play with toys. I always knew I wanted to be on television even though the kids didn’t look like me. I enjoyed going to school because I learnt new things and all my friends looked like me but they also looked like the kids on T.V. My teachers where smart and strict they were white. My favourite teacher was white and she was a good woman. A majority of all my family members looked like me some where mixed with white parents. The most powerful leaders of the country at the time were Tony Blair the most loved woman in our country Princess Diana, The Royal family were White, The Queen was White. I never questioned that once. I knew that my Nan was a Queen in my eyes because her cooking was better than the bland meals at school and she always baked cakes YUMMMY.
Every 2 weeks my mum would canerow/ cornrow/braid my natural nappy hair. She also made chicken and rice everyday how boring. My dad use to smoke weed in the house and close the living room door. His dealer was a friendly black guy that had an amazing smile. My favourite fruit happened to be watermelon and mangos. My dad use to be a DJ so my house was flowing with Barry White, soul music, hip hop, RnB and soca! My family are from the Caribbean so sugar cane was something I would day-dream about. My mum use to speak creole (broken french on the phone) a weird language that I didn’t care for as a kid. Every shop I went to there was always an Indian family who would own it or work there. Every chip shop I went to had a white greek person serving. Black people would own the hair shops but I hated going to the hair shop because they didn’t appreciate my hair and would make me feel bad for having my texture hair.
In year Six I got my first relaxer (perm) it burned my hair but I wanted to look prettier and have flowing hair. I remember being at my nans house watching the twin towers collapse on the news. Terrorism entered my mind I remembered being scared of anyone who looked asian with a big back pack. I knew that white police officers would protect us. London Bombers had me scared once again.
When growing up Black people where entertainers, singers, actors and athletes well that’s all they would show on T.V. I knew I always wanted to be an actress because I had the talent. I remember saying BUMBA CLART in school and laughing at the white teacher because she didn’t know what it meant. I knew I was different but so was everyone else.
On the television White people where either super rich or chavs and Black people where just “ghetto” or trying to be white. Often at times if Black people where rich then it was because they where probably gangsters.
Stephen Lawrence and Damiloa Taylor where names and stories that stuck with me.
I remember my dad gave me a book on successful Black musicians and every Black history month we would go to an event. Mary Seacole, Rosa Parks and Frederick Douglas are the stories that stuck with me. He wanted me to be a proud Black girl. I did not fully understand then but I fully understand now.
Big lips, Big noses, Nappy hair, Dark Brown skin, Light Brown skin, Wavy loose curls, dreadlocks, weed, music, family, Love, Laughs, Cousins, Slavery, Sexual Abuse, Celebrations, Kings, Queens, Egypt, Carnival, Beaches, Sugar Cane, Watermelon, Tea Time, Family, Death, Dead Dad, Alone, Dreams, Weaves, Hate, Ugly skin, Alone, Love, Broken Heart, Dead Uncle, Family, Who am I, Cereal, Love, open-minded, Lesbian, Bi sexual, Straight, Tears, Love, Celebration, Black lives matter, Freedom…….
Being Black is more than just a colour I am just like you. We are all human. But why must you prejudge me?, why must you stare at me on a bus?, why must you hold your purse closer as I approach?, why must you kill my brothers and sisters?, Why must you rape us and hang us?, why must you tell me you prefer light skin over dark skin?, why are you trying to put us in a system where we kill ourselves ?
A black person could never be racist towards a white person. We grew up to adore you and it was not by choice but by influence. After slavery you had no choice but to influence a World full of people and convince them that we are the problem. We are Black and Beautiful and if the media doesn’t want to show you that well that’s why we have our own networks! 🙂
You want to get to know our culture then READ! educate yourself, GOOGLE IT. You are the problem If you ask ignorant questions such as:
Is that a weave ?
Do Black people tan in the sun ?
I have a black niece, sister, brother so I can relate ??
It’s not just Black lives that matter all lives matter ??
Whats it like to be Black ?
“It’s when a beautiful sacred being is damaged and tries to repair itself over and over again. It’s somewhat insanity but deep down you know you’re never gonna be fully repaired but you still try. Thats what it is like to be Black” – Keisha George
Black Lives Matter