For The Uninspired Woman: Labels help validate our position in society but labels also contribute to the pressure of sustaining a relationship. What if we got rid of the labels boyfriend and girlfriend, stuck to the commitment and referred to the relationship as dating until marriage ?
Articles about relationships uploaded every Friday
Lets take it back to when society influenced us as kids. The feminine female was top priority in regards to marketing and shaping the way we viewed females in the western world. She was the white girl who dominated every aspect of our lives via advertising. We saw her in the clothes in stores, We saw her making jewelery, playing with the best Barbies and baby dolls on the tv commercials, She got to fly abroad to family destination with her perfect family on billboards, she was represented in Disney princess films. There was absolutely no room for females that preferred to play with trains or enjoyed extreme sports and no room for other ethnicities . With that being said at a young age marriage was also installed in us that once we find the guy we like, the aim should be to fall in love, become his girlfriend, get married and have kids. Which is a ridiculous ideal however once you realise this and make a conscious decision to challenge the status quo there is so much pressure and guilt it leads you back to that ideology.
They forgot to install in us the importance of being independent, the power of dating, the power of creating a genuine friendship with your partner and the importance of self-love and healing before you enter relationships in general. !!!
Holding on to Long term relationships
Long term relationships are challenging and sometimes we sacrifice our well-being and comprise our core values for people we love but ultimately for people we do not respect, trust and are unhappy with. Every relationship has its challenges but im talking to those of you who have found yourself holding on to a relationship for months, even years with hopes that things will change.
THINK What if you had gotten rid of the label boyfriend or girlfriend and refered to them as a romantic interest that you were dating.
Would you then stay in a relationship where you’re being mistreated and neglected for weeks on end ?
By no means am I using the dating untill marriage as a scape goat for those of you who are afraid of commitment. But sometimes you have to change your mentality in order to let go.
In a long-term relationship the term dating untill marriage can also be used as catalyst to push forward with the conversations about marriage. I’m speaking to those of you who have been in a relationship for over 3 years + and the topic of marriage and engagement stresses your partner and all you seem to receive is excuses.
THINK Would you date someone, commit to only them, love them, have sex with them, share your life with them for 3 years + and they still cringe or feel pressured with the mention of engagement and marriage ???
But even thought you’re not happy with that because he/she is your boyfriend/girlfriend that makes things ok ??
You’re a wife without the ring
This is for those of us who get our heart-broken in relationships because we give our all to the wrong people/person. Some of us enjoy the act of giving, loving and being completely consumed by the person that makes our heart skip a beat however how much of yourself are you willing to give when you’re not a wife but a “wifey” ?
When you’re in a long-term relationship the aim is to thrive and progress but once the relationship is over and you’ve had time to reflect. Have you thought about why you put so much effort into fixing things. You were left being a wife to someone who was barely your life partner
THINK Some people aren’t worthy of your wife like traits. Those constant home-made meals cooked every evening, the morning motivational texts, the financial plans drawn up etc. For a person who clearly isn’t appreciate it…. take a step back and date them not wife them. Get to know them again, talk about your troubles etc ..you get the gist.
The ideology behind dating untill marriage.
The idea behind dating until marriage is to have a relationship that isn’t built on pressure. The idea is to be committed to each other and enjoy each others company whilst focusing on your own life and achieving your own goals.
When you both feel like completely combing your lives together to start a family and move in with each other than that’s the engagement stage. Lets be real when you move in with someone you really get to see the real them flaws and all. Some people are not prepared for that and that is perfect for the engagement stage because it’s a test to see if you can really make it.
Remember just because you move in with someone doesn’t automatically mean things are gonna work out it just means that things are more intense. There are many factors that make a successful relationship and dating untill marriage is merely a concept to keep you focused on your achievements and goals whilst being in love.
How do you introduce them to your family if you’re just dating ?
This is ______ and we’re dating. Then later down the line you say
What about when you’re ready to get engaged ?
Dont forget that being committed to dating one person is still a form of a relationship. Remember _____ the girl I’ve dating for over 3 years well were getting engaged.
Putting into practice, dating just for sex, dating just for fun
……..Find out more next week Friday with Lets date until marriage vol 2
We want all our dedicated readers to be inspired by the Wonita Christine movement. Mondays: Be inspired, Tuesdays: Health, Thursday: Sex, Friday: Relationships. Now we have podcast on Anchor fm/wonitachristine Stay tuned and don’t forget to subscribe.